The diary of a nerd...a nerd who doesn't follow the herd! (real diary entries!)

03.09.09

I am not just your typical teenager. My friday night is NOT spend down in Solitude Park drinking, but instead is spent either with Hannah at the movies, talking to Hannah and Jenn...and sometimes Matty...on MSN, studying and reading a book.

It can be said that I am a Christian. I asked the lord into my heart when I was a first year in high school. I did a talk to Christianity on SU, and though the response from people at the time was amazing...but it's hard to know what real impact I had on any of them. It makes me so angry to hear others making fun of the lord.
Also, it boils my blood to see people getting bullied. I get bullied, but I have train myself to laugh it off in school...and then save the tears for when I am alone in my room. There is much more to me than meets the eye.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It is the most awful thing when you think of yourself as 'not beautiful' ...even ugly. I feel like that somethings when I see all the beautiful people in my class...but then I remember I am unique...and so that makes me feel better about myself.

It's hard to face that in school, people just don't want to be my friend, and most of the friends in school I do have or users...but finally, I've found all the friends I really need in life.

Hannah
Jenn
Matty
Connor

It feels so great to know I have a friend all the way over in France. Jenn really is so special to me I can't put it into words. To be blunt, she is so kind to me it feels strange, because many (Serious...you don't know how many people hate me for no reason until you've seen) people in school are always so resentful to me. It's like...someone who accepts me for who I am...one of the only people ever to do that.

Hannah...what can I say...you're my best friend. I have know you for nine years. We are always seen together. Malta was great fun. You make every single day an adventure. I love you! You're my life...I wouldn't be a funny person without you!

Matty! PICKLES! CRAZY PERSON! I love you! You make me laugh so hard I almost pee myself.
You are my little ray of sunshine...
GO YOU!

Connor...I know you try to help me with stuff...and you do sometimes....but lets face it...you're a bad luck magnet.

LucyXX

04.09.08

I do not find it hard to accept at all that I am different. If you gave me a penny for everytime I say something weird, I would a million pound at the end of every day. But I don't get why that is so hard for people to accept. I do very well in school, and I think part of the reason that happens is that I think differently from everyone else. I like the get the most out of school that I can. If I get kick-ass grades, then I ain't complaining...it's when the bullying starts that I start to lose my head a bit.

And this is what has given me the self esteem issues I have today....

And the only way I can boost that up a bit is if I can express my feelings and emotions through my music.

You don't know how amazing it is to be able to pick up a music instrument, and just play a simple tune that reflects how you feel.

I play bassoon, and am currently working on grade 5, musical theory, GCSE music and am starting piano lessons...(I hope) People can be so nasty about the instrument I play and the mellow sound that fills there untasteful ears when I play it. They don't appreciate what an art and a discipline (sp? lol) playing an instrument like this is. There are only about 2500 people who play the bassoon in Northern Ireland...so I'm very lucky. It also gives me much better chances on getting places in orchestras.

So that's good

LucyXX

Love the Die-Arry

Dunno why I insisted on spellin it like that, but there you go

I agree that beauty is the ... thing ... whatever that means. But I think you're pretty darn sexy.

Lets just say, 'I would with me shoes on'

Wink

xxxxx

_________________

"I spent most of last night dragging this lake,
for the corpses of all my past mistakes.
sell me out - the joke's on you,
we are salt - you are the wound.
I'm the kind of kid
that can't let anything go.
But you wouldn't know a good thing
if it came up and slit your throat."

- 'My Heart Is The Worst Kind Of Weapon’
x

Um....anyway

06.09.08

My birthday is indeed next month

09.10.93 is my birthday

I'll be 15

Anyway...today I go shopping with Hannah

YAY

Happy!

LucyXX

_________________

Mr Jingles~One AMAZING mouse...a true Circus Mouse...and someday, mouse-ville will be your home
Craig Coates...Alot like myself
"I am Hans De Lag Shar from Gaaaaamany"
"I refuse to diminish my character to survive...I refuse!"
"Fortune favours the bold."
"Anyone who is part of team Britney will not be hated..."
PROUD MEMBER OF TEAM BRITNEY!

*gasp*

AND I HAVE TO BUY YOU SOMETHING FOR YOU BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!

*sigh* this saving thing is REALLY not going well.

oh well, ill just rule out food ...

x

_________________

"I spent most of last night dragging this lake,
for the corpses of all my past mistakes.
sell me out - the joke's on you,
we are salt - you are the wound.
I'm the kind of kid
that can't let anything go.
But you wouldn't know a good thing
if it came up and slit your throat."

- 'My Heart Is The Worst Kind Of Weapon’
x

hehe

ok

08.09.08

Ok...the past few days have been real exciting...
First of all...I might be going to France to see Jenny! YAY! I'm so excited! It'll be me, Hannah and Matty going to France.
Also, Jenn might be coming to Ireland. YAYAYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAYAYAY!
Also...I got into the senior orchestra...so I will be playing music with people twice my age and I may get to go to Italy with them!
YAY!

SO THAT ALL ROCKS MY SOCKS!

LucyXX

_________________

Mr Jingles~One AMAZING mouse...a true Circus Mouse...and someday, mouse-ville will be your home
Craig Coates...Alot like myself
"I am Hans De Lag Shar from Gaaaaamany"
"I refuse to diminish my character to survive...I refuse!"
"Fortune favours the bold."
"Anyone who is part of team Britney will not be hated..."
PROUD MEMBER OF TEAM BRITNEY!

Go Lucy!
You will rock that orchestra I'm sure....
XD

Karen X

_________________

WOOHOO!! FRANCE BABY!

hardcore my men XD

_________________

"I spent most of last night dragging this lake,
for the corpses of all my past mistakes.
sell me out - the joke's on you,
we are salt - you are the wound.
I'm the kind of kid
that can't let anything go.
But you wouldn't know a good thing
if it came up and slit your throat."

- 'My Heart Is The Worst Kind Of Weapon’
x

Shes been abusing someone - i mean SOMETHING alright

lol

im so cooooool XDXD x

_________________

"I spent most of last night dragging this lake,
for the corpses of all my past mistakes.
sell me out - the joke's on you,
we are salt - you are the wound.
I'm the kind of kid
that can't let anything go.
But you wouldn't know a good thing
if it came up and slit your throat."

- 'My Heart Is The Worst Kind Of Weapon’
x

10.09.93

The day after my fifteenth...
I got brilliant prescents
A birthday greeting on three MSN taglines
Lots of attention...

But I'm not happy...

Because of the events of today.

I had a really bad Geography lesson...
People were slagging me right through...and then, when I was chewing a pen and imagining them all leaving me the hell alone when I heard something go *CRUNCH*

Turns out I broke one of the braces off my teeth...so I have to go all the way to Newry to get that fixed on Wednesday

Then I burst into tears because I was distracted by this and couldn't imagine they weren't there anymore...and someone tried to get my phone taken off me, and when the teacher just ignored her, she was slagging me and kept telling me how spoiled I was....(This was Hayley

And then I got another surge of the, "I don't wanna be 15," vibe and started to cry again in Civic link...

And then when I came home my "Friend" Hayley had the cheek to keep complaining that I was being cheeky to her...I mean...after what she was saying to me in Geography...because she kept asking me why I wouldn't let her view webcam...and I told when she'd got on my last nerve that I'd block her and report her for making me view myself online at a time when I didn't want to be viewed...and she told that I wasn't a good friend if I did that...

And that hurt...

So much...

I now...that is why I'm sad...

And yet...when people see me cry...they ignore me now...because I do it so much they think it's attention seeking...and it's not...

LucyXX

_________________

Mr Jingles~One AMAZING mouse...a true Circus Mouse...and someday, mouse-ville will be your home
Craig Coates...Alot like myself
"I am Hans De Lag Shar from Gaaaaamany"
"I refuse to diminish my character to survive...I refuse!"
"Fortune favours the bold."
"Anyone who is part of team Britney will not be hated..."
PROUD MEMBER OF TEAM BRITNEY!

Sounds like a suckish day Sad

things will get better though, like i said

and i dont break promises

love you x

_________________

"I spent most of last night dragging this lake,
for the corpses of all my past mistakes.
sell me out - the joke's on you,
we are salt - you are the wound.
I'm the kind of kid
that can't let anything go.
But you wouldn't know a good thing
if it came up and slit your throat."

- 'My Heart Is The Worst Kind Of Weapon’
x

Mmm...you never have before...so I trust you...
LucyXX

_________________

Mr Jingles~One AMAZING mouse...a true Circus Mouse...and someday, mouse-ville will be your home
Craig Coates...Alot like myself
"I am Hans De Lag Shar from Gaaaaamany"
"I refuse to diminish my character to survive...I refuse!"
"Fortune favours the bold."
"Anyone who is part of team Britney will not be hated..."
PROUD MEMBER OF TEAM BRITNEY!

there you go then XD

_________________

"I spent most of last night dragging this lake,
for the corpses of all my past mistakes.
sell me out - the joke's on you,
we are salt - you are the wound.
I'm the kind of kid
that can't let anything go.
But you wouldn't know a good thing
if it came up and slit your throat."

- 'My Heart Is The Worst Kind Of Weapon’
x

Just keep singing 'I will survive' in your head and stick your toungue out behind their backs. Believe me, I know how it feels.

_________________

Ianto: I have searched for the phrase "I shall walk the Earth and my hunger will know no bounds", but I keep get redirected to Weight Watchers.

Plays: Shadow - Raven - Shaeman - Vrael - Archangel - Onyx - Twilight - Eclipse -
Nightmare - Akito - Merlas - Teran - Wraith - Cika - Shiraku - Neku - Kia

What Jenni said, except two fingers in reverse peace signs behind their backs.
I did that behind Connor today in school and he saw me. Dang that boy does my HEAD in. *sigh*

_________________

"I spent most of last night dragging this lake,
for the corpses of all my past mistakes.
sell me out - the joke's on you,
we are salt - you are the wound.
I'm the kind of kid
that can't let anything go.
But you wouldn't know a good thing
if it came up and slit your throat."

- 'My Heart Is The Worst Kind Of Weapon’
x